So often, I look at our house, our cars, our children and the life that we have built and I can’t help but think that it belongs to someone else. I don’t say this because it is subpar or doesn’t meet some preconceived notion of what I thought it would be like. I say this because most of the time I don’t even feel like a real adult. I just can’t fathom that I’m the one that’s actually in charge. One of the best things about having children is that you get to do so many fun things “for the kids”.
But alas, I am in my (cough, cough) mid-ish 30s………..AND……… I am going to be a GRANDMOTHER!!! We found out in late April that my daughter is pregnant. I had her young and now she is a young woman about to have my grandson. Truthfully, at first, I couldn’t even say the G-words. I wish I could say that it was some sort of righteous indignation or maybe even something complex like my inability to accept that my little girl is going to be a mother, but no. I just can’t imagine that I can possibly be a grandma. I am the person who steals nerf guns from my son and army crawls out the hall to snipe my husband on the recliner. I can’t be a grandma!!
Isn’t a grandma old? They have lap blankets, crochet needles, wear glasses to read, and wear slippers all the time. (OH wait, I just described ME!!!) As I think more and more about what a grandma actually is I have realized that maybe, just maybe this grandparent thing won’t be so bad. As a parent, the stress of raising this soul that has been entrusted to you is shattering. Couple that stress with the responsibility of providing for this little human and even though we enjoy our children, there is still all of this baggage in the background. But GRANDPARENTS get to love and enjoy without any of that baggage. I mean sure they still care and concern themselves with all of those things, but how exciting to not be solely responsible. I can’t imagine honestly the amount of love you can possibly have for the child that your own child brings into the world.
I see this beautiful baby singing with me and my own grandmother and I can’t’ help but daydream about a day when maybe I’ll do this with a little boy that might favor this sweet little girl. This makes me SOOOOO excited.
So here’s my hope aka my granny mission statement: I am going to be there for you, my daughter, to help, guide, and advise you (only when asked). I hope to continue to be your sounding board for all of the unknown that you are about to face. I plan on helping your little boy see the wonderful, beautiful, incredible mommy he has because I have known and loved you your whole life with every ounce of me. If nothing else, I want to be that voice that approaches the throne of heaven for you and that little fella that grows inside you right now. To my grandson, I want you to smell something baking and think of me. I want to be the one on the floor playing with you. I want my lap to be the soft place that you know you can take a comfy nap. More than absolutely anything I want to lead you to the Rock of Ages, the Great Physician, the Savior of the World, because there is no greater gift than I can give you than the life-changing knowledge of the One who died for you.
So I guess being a g-word isn’t going to be that bad after all. I can still be half-child, half-parent, and all super fun lovey grandma….. No, G-ma….. Maybe Nana?….. Nah, Granny….. Well, I don’t know what I’ll be called yet, But whoever I am. I am going to embrace it and be the best G-WORD I can be.
Grizzly Eve Domestic Goddess 