When your lemons explode into napalm…..

Today I planned a funny blog post about the trials and tribulations of winter break. However, just like life seems to always do, I was thrown a curve ball that threw me for a loop, and I had to raise a white flag on such an idea. (I wonder if I could squeeze in another metaphor. 😂)

I am having a David day. Not Bowie, not Letterman, but KING DAVID.

When I was younger and I would read the Psalms and I would cringe at how David would talk to God.

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts, and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” Psalms 13:1-2

There are so many examples of David pouring out every frustration, every hurt onto the altar. Laying each piece of his broken heart bloody and bare on the throne.

The older I get the more I’ve decided that I admire that. I think God does too.

It’s taken me a long time to realize what a true relationship with God looks like. Truth be told, relationships are messy. Humanity is messy. Sin is the greatest cause of this terrible mess God isn’t afraid of that mess. In fact, he wants to be our escape from it.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

I won’t go into what caused my David day, but my world is shaking. I am at a crossroads that I am completely at a loss for answers on my own.

Admittedly, I had a moment today where I told God what I really thought about this situation that it wasn’t fair. I do what he asks me, I try every day to follow him, love others and spread his love. Like a festering tumor, those feelings that were eating me alive were slowly ripped from my being as I prayed honestly, brutally, and with a vulnerability I haven’t had in a long time.

And just like David, I felt the release, the lightening in my spirit.

“But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.” Psalms 13:5-6

Is my trouble gone? No. Do I have answers? Not yet. But the words of my beloved Savior, who suffered more than I’ll ever really know, gives me hope and peace.

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

So if you are having a David moment, know that God is there with you. He’s sitting on the bathroom floor, gathering all your tears and can use your broken vessels for a beautiful purpose. Let go and let God, because I guarantee he will NEVER let you go.

Peace and Blessings, my friends.

GrizzlyEve

PS) This song is EVERYTHING I am learning. Listen and be changed.